I think i now understand..

The meaning of the 'highs and lows of fasting'. Jasus!
I woke up today, sun shining.. absolutely freezing, shivering, goose pimples- the lot!
Then suddenly i was unbelieveably sweating, literally without being gross, i was drenched (puke, oh i know)
It was absolutely horrible, and i've read about the detoxification stage a hundred or more times but gah that was horrible.
I had a coffee, 2 glasses of squash and a litre of water but i couldn't stop shaking.

So, i had a 90 cal instant cup a soup. No croutons or floating pieces of veg. Like drinking a mushroom flavoured tea? Omg that sounds vile.

And now i feel absolutely stuffed. But it's weird i don't feel any less hungry than before (but hunger pains have recently been sparse considering the deficit) just full, like water loaded. And it's horrible. I'm trying not to feel  bad, but yous girls can imagine when you've been so strong before?

Anyways, idk what that means? Obviously i'm continuing my fast and i hope it won't be affected..it was liquids afterall?!
And i only did it 'cause i've got an essay to write and i couldn't even type.
But i've decided to postpone my night out 'til next saturday. Then for the these next three days fast as i've been doing (sans soup) and have pure water only for the entirety of next week.
I should have lost abit by then and notice a difference.

I'm looking forward to it though. I'll keep yous all updated anyways :)

Hope everyone's well :)

x

Hey guys!

Haven't eaten since monday afternoon- i've never properly fasted, as in i always caved at the end of the second day.
I feel amazing, i feel like i could go on forever. Why didn't anyone tell me how great i'd feel haha?!
No idea what's going on weight wise tbh, i put on abit so i'm avoiding the scales atm.
I'm definitely fasting 'til Monday.. after that i really want to do another week if i can get away with it.

2 days pure water, then out sunday night (bank holiday) and gonna get drunkkk.
Empty stomach + alcohol is a bad idea ;) but atleast i'll sick up all the empty cals!

Sorry i'm hardly posting guys; exams soon and i need to get my head down. I will try and update as much as possible :)

Hope everyone else is doing well.. remember it's nearly bikini time!

x

Something to keep us all sane;

And remind us what we're suffering here for!

I particularly love the last two.

Stay Focused girls, the summer won't be ready for us

X

Not an awful day i suppose, around 800 hundred calorie-wise.
I haven't had time to exercise but i was on my feet running around for 4 hours at work tonight..which is something i suppose.
Tomorrow i'm fasting just simply because i haven't got much to do and i won't particularly need bundles of energy.
Lets see anyways, i'm getting back into the whole updating again (: keeps me focused

X

P.S. i really need to thank everyone for the support you have given in comments, i don't show my gratitude enough to all you girls- and 99 follower, god! never thought anyone would be interested in the crap i have to say haha, thankyou though (:

I don't know if many of you know the show Supersize vs Superskinny, 'cause i'm personally obsessed with it..
Reverse and Thinspiration all in one, i love it.
You girls should check out the videos.. i reckon you'd be interested too

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/supersize-vs-superskinny/4od

And finally, now i'm getting back into updating i've just come across some lovely pictures of Mila Kunis for her recent shoot in GQ.

Know no-one will appreciate it as much as you lot...

 

Stay skinny, minis
X

I haven't wanted to post, 'cause i haven't alot to say.
I hate the fact that everytime i write a new entry i have nothing new to add- just more depression, let downs. Boring. All boring, same-old fat.
I've still been reading everyone's blogs but i was just embarassed to say anything myself when everyone is atleast making some progress and i just stay here, the same. I simply remain.
I think i've put on weight but i have no official way of knowing for sure..the scales are gone.
I live in baggy joggers and a huge coat- yes i do look a ho-bo and i hate that too.
My mum just came up and we tried to sort out my wadrobe, i was suprised at how many nice clothes I have. All wastes of money, obviously. I ended up just sat on the floor unable to stop crying. Mainly because i cannot believe i have got to the stage where i'm scared of a pair of jeans, scared of everyone's reaction to my body. Embarassed to allow anyone to see. So I hide, and i waste my life, sitting inside in stupid joggies and an oversized, overworn coat.
It's ridiculous, i don't know how i got to this stage/state. This isn't me and it needs to stop.
I've been trying, trying hard to stop a binge; remember what it is i'm trying for.

I will do it, eventually, because i can't carry on hiding away, i'm not pathetic. I am strong, i need confidence and all i want is to be happy.
4 weeks to my birthday, and if i'm not 94lbs i don't want to be anything at all.