Success!

Despite my own disbelief at being able to succeed in my fast
this weekend I am pleased to report back that I’ve done it girls!Haha, not a huge deal… 3 days but it just feels so good to know that if I want to I can do whatever I want. And d’you know what? - It wasn’t hard at all!
Maybe because I kept reminding myself what the outcome would be but seriously I really enjoyed it and barely had any moments of weakness, I’ve had loads (well that might be a slight exaggeration, but enough) energy to carry me through this weekend.
AND I thought after doing so well and feeling so fresh I thought i should finish off a perfect fast with a SWF (salt water flush.. if you don’t know, you should do some googling). Don’t need to fill you in on all the gory details! I’ve got the whole house to myself all night as well which was the main reason I thought I’d better take advantage of the total privacy.
So now I’m just drinking a chamomile tea and getting ready to be in bed by 10pm. I know, but I’m absolutely shattered. Had to be in work dead early today but in addition to that the clocks went forward so lost an extra hour of precious sleep.  L
So seeing as I am really, really running out of time before the big day I’ve made up a strict regime for the next month-ish. Here it is:Monday 28^th March -> Thursday 31^stMarch (payday woo) -1000cals max and 1 hour exercise min
Friday 1^st April -> Sunday 3^rdApril –Liquid Fasting
Monday 4^th April -> Thursday 7^thApril -1000 cals max and 1 hour exercise min
Friday 8^th April -> Sunday 10^thApril - Liquid Fasting (+ SWF)
Monday 11^th April -> Thursday 14^th April - 1000 cals max and 1 hour exercise min

Friday 15^th April -> Thursday 21^st April - Liquid Fasting + morning jog + yoga

Friday 22^nd April - 1000 cals

Saturday 23^rd April (Birthday woo!) - 500 cals: to line the stomach! Haha ;)

Speak soon ladies J

x

-

Woo, just ordered my dress for my birthday ladies..
MUST have been fate- It temporarily went out of stock but after refreshing for an hour one must have been cancelled or returned and I managed to nab the last UK8
I cannot tell you how relieved I am, but this calls for serious strictness now! If I wanna not only fit but be happy parading around in this little mini and dancing all night long; I have to really get my act together.
Wanna have a sneaky peek?
http://www.asos.com/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=1467013
The models on that site are bloody thinspiration if anything let alone the lovely clothes!
Tomorrow I intend on starting a 3-day fast to properly kickstart my 4 week countdown!
Wish me luck ladies.. It's been a while but I hope I can repeat my old ways :)

Remember ladies- not long left!
x

- Has it really been over 6 months?!

I don't know where it's gone.. motivation- but I'm here still.
I'm still here, every last heavy bit of me :(
Disgusting and disappointed and running out of precious time.
Time that should be spent living life- not hating it and hiding behind baggy clothes. What a waste of my teenage years, not wanting to go out and be normal and have fun. Too much time has been wasted  despising every aspect of me.
No more, pleeeeeeeease, I don't wanna be so unhappy all the time for one more day!
I have less than five weeks until I become an adult. My birthday will note the first day of the rest of my life.. As a woman.
I want to be beautiful, and the best (worst) part is that I could be, if I could just put down that second helping of cake..third..fourth..
Anyways, looking back over previous months of blogging I was alot more focused then, and I really have to be again.
I have no choice, if I'm not gonna do it this time I undoubtedly never will.
Goodbye Fatty, I never want to be seeing you again!
A stone in 4.5 weeks- possible/easy right?!
I'M BACK BITCHES

x

I am sure of what I want;

and i want to lose a stone. In 7 weeks, that's 2lb/week, that's nothing.. that's goddamn averaaage, that is easy..that is going to happen.

This is what i want to be, and i'm the only one who can make it happen.

Skinny girls can wear nice clothes,

Go out with guys,

And fall in loveee,

Lemme have just one of them, please.

x

I've just taken a complete U-Turn.

A green face and salty mouth

So today marks a week- a week of no food that is!
It feels difficult at times but once you've done it, it feels like it's zoomed past.
Now i just need to keep it up for another two weeks :') ..but at least that means i'm 1/3rd of the way through my fast.

Anyways back to today, a couple of hours ago i downed a litre of salty tea-temperature water (with a splash of pure lemon juice, advised to take away the taste of drinking a mouthful of ocean). Yes, i've just had my first successful SALT WATER FLUSH.

- i've tried it before but not after fasting, i'd just puked half of it straight back and had to go to bed with a balloon sized bloated belly-

But this time it worked, i'm not going into details, i'm pretty sure there are plenty of websites available to do that, but i will just say that i do feel like a big weight has been lifted.. or emptied out of my body.. and i'm hoping the scale is happy about that in the morning! It's the first time i'll have weighed myself in about 5 days so i'm looking forward to it!

I've just soaked in a bath for half an hour with a deep cleaning face mask on, the detoxifying factors of this fast are wreaking havoc on my skin!- but this is all just proof that whatever i'm doing is having some effect.

Anyways, i'm unbelievably thirsty now so i'm gonna go and drink the freshly blended cucumber juice i concocted and have had chilling in the fridge for a couple of hours (:

love ya

x

Day five;

;Finally over. I'm seriously trying to restrain my need for food right now.
foodfoodfoodfood, nomnomnom, binge binge bingeeee.. ah! I'm going mad
I know i won't, i can't deal with the stress of it but the want is there and the only thing stopping me from raiding the kitchen is blogging right now.
I don't know why today, but this should be a milestone. Five days. No cheating, I'm hoping for a burst of energy in the morning- I'm sorta slogging through each day, i don't think I've been having enough juice but I haven't got the energy to make my own and clean up afterwards more than once every day or two and i don't have the money to keep doling it out on 'innocent' and 'tropicana'.

As I'm writing this i can't feel my head, it literally feels like it is being unscrewed off my neck and i can feel the pressure pulling it up into the air, strange, i can't explain it and I'm starting to sound crazy :|

The hunger pains seemed to have disappeared by day 3 but came back with a vengeance today and yesterday, that was weird too..but i have to admit i love it. I hate the shakes and lightheadedness associated with restricting but the gnawing feeling in my stomach always helps to remind me that whatever I'm doing is working somehow.

I'm glad you girls have been commenting (:
it's dead motivating like you wouldn't believe.

Bree- thanks for the advice on the laxies, I'm flattered that anyone's even bothered let alone concerned so that really means alot.

I've took your advice but that also makes it almost as many days without visiting the toilet.. But I'm waiting for an opportunity to do a salt water flush - it's just really difficult as the times I'm from someone's in the house or when everyone's gone i have college. I'm thinking maybe for Friday morning which should have a positive effect on the scale.

Because I love who I can become- You're quite new to the blogosphere and it's amazing that you've been so encouraging already. You're from England too (whoop, waves British flag ;)) and i just have to say you look gorgeous at your prom.

Spacecadet18-  I've gotta say the same, and that's just that I've only recently started reading your blog but thanks so much for the caring comments, you're doing great yourself so keep it up (:

and, Helesaurus- Damn right we will! Let's make it 2 and a half weeks now but it's definitely happening!

And finally to anonymous sinner about the juicing; personally my juicer literally extracts just the liquid part of the fruit/veg i put in it and keeps the pulp separate. The sight of it makes me want to heave into my sink (mm..) as it's final state looks like cat vomit, or baby sick. I can't speak for you but I'd rather just keep this as easy as possible, unless you've tried that baby food diet and found it works, I'm not so keen (:

Finally today I had about 200ml of Tropicana smoothie then I juiced up some salad (i don't even know if you're 'sposed to?!) which was lettuce, cucumber, tomato and raw cabbage.
It wasn't so vile with some ice cubes and once I'd sieved out the thick frothy layer but i have to admit it doesn't beat my favourite: innocent pomegranates, blueberries and acai just yet ;) and I'd advise any fool who copies this recipe to down it in one!

Thanks for reading ladies and keep it going

x

Today's intake:
Half a glass-full of homemade fruit juice (i spilt the other half) consisting of one banana, one satsuma, and a handful of frozen strawberries and cherries.. still not grasping why the have to be frozen but hey!

Then i bought an innocent mango and something else smoothie before work for an energy kick.

So no more than 500 liquid cals?

And this morning i went for an hour's run with skinny friend.

night x

Thanks for the encouraging comments girls, glad to know i'm speaking to someone -anyone(!)- apart from my keyboard!

Anyways today; I'd been doing fine, eating my usual raws and nuts and whatnots, then suddenly i just needed chocolate. I could not abstain from its sweet taste so grabbed a mini chocolate cupcake (120) two mint chocolate biscuits (71 each) and rather randomly a wrap (230).
Totally unneccessary and i tell you now i felt like shit afterwards. What happened to willpower? Fighting through the pain for what you really want? What bloody happened to getting into your bikini in 3 weeks?!?

So desperate times = desperate measures, i took a triple dose of lactulose (liquid laxies) and text my skinny (and also very potentially eating disordered)friend and we just went for an hour run. I do feel alot better and exercise always seems to give my motivation abit of a kick up the arse so that's good.
I've just cut up a load of fruit downstairs and stuck it in the freezer..don't actually know why it goes in the freezer..but that's what all the recipes on juice fasting website are telling me.
Oh did i mention that?- i'm not satisfied with the just going raw anymore, i want it in liquid form so i don't even have to chew those demon calories ;) juice fasting here i go!
21 days starting tomorrow, fits perfectly into the slot between this evening and the last one before i jet off in a plane the following day.
And actually, despite the obvious main factor of promised weight loss the other benefits of fasting look amazing: skin, wellbeing, health in general etc.
If you read my earlier posts you'll know that i fasted for a week before only a couple of months ago and although i was happy with the results to an extent i think i can do alot better and be alot stricter this time round. The sound of the ticking clock counting down the days 'til i bare all is also rather motivating (:

So yes, i plan on juicing up some fruit in the mornings with a green tea; a green, leafy concoction at lunch and then whichever for the evening if i do want. I'm also gonna buy some innocent smoothie cartons, which despite being high in sugar are admittedly exactly that: 'innocent' and do only contain pure, concentrated fruit juice for when i cba to juice up and clean up!

Wish me luck on another weightloss adventure and i'll keep yous posted, i've gotta get my pigsty of a room gutted then have a wee bath and a bit of scrubbing, face masking, waxing and nail painting i think

x

hello strangers

well all i can say is it's been a while!
to be honest i have still been lurking on all'a your blogs religiously, everyday. i just didn't know what to write.
i hate coming on here and posting crap, unmotivated entries about how i'm failing my latest attempt at this.

i put on some weight i'm not sure how much, i probably mentioned it in posts before but i'm back down to 108.. or atleast i was this morning. i've been going raw, or atleast trying to.

(with regards to dukan: i think it may have worked, but me being me with my incapabality of following rules and instead taking things to an 'all or nothing' level [this case all] i messed up the first, probably most important stage, attack. i was apparently only meant to follow this stage for 2 days, but no i went for 10 days, of pure protein.
my blood pressure dropped to the floor and i had grey-outs daily by the end of the week and a half. i got tinnitis because the low supply of blood...

web definition: a ringing or booming sensation in one or both ears.

it wasn't so much painful, just incredibly irritating and apparently some people can never get rid. Which left me a bit worried, just imagine a train constantly pulling through the room below your bedroom and try sleeping.

the weightloss aspect was also altered by my elongation of the boundaries. (sorry if this is TMI for some) but because of the non-existent amount of fibre you eat in this stage of the diet, you get awful constipation. I know that it's rare for people amongst this community to be 'regular' anyway because of their regimented diets but i mean i was knecking back on the laxies and every morning continued to wake up with a balloon sized, bloated belly. Which not only hurt my stomach, but didn't help on the scale. And i mean, atall. Infact i'm sure i maybe gained.

So basically i'm not trying to dissuade anyone from the diet, but my only advice would be to actually follow the rules and do it healthily. And which one of you are considering a healthy weightloss diet, really?)

So yes, back to now, for the last couple of weeks i've tried to integrate as much raw food into my diet.
I'm aiming for 90% so a typical day would be a fat free yoghurt for breakfast with a green tea and 0 calorie sweeteners, snacking on dried/fresh fruit and nuts throughout the day and a plainish salad at night. Never really more than 600cals.

I lose about 5 pounds in the week and the diet goes AWOL come saturday and sunday. Not purposefully, and i know it sounds like a pathetic excuse but i was forced last sunday to eat dinner. And i mean humiliated into looking normal, infront of not only family but people i'd only just met. I don't want to bore you with details but i din't really have much choice.

So i took a double does of strong laxies and flushed my system monday. (Sorry again for TMI but..) 6 times i had to go to the toilet that morning and i know it's gross but it showed how much shit was in my system (pardon the pun..)

3 weeks this saturday i'm jetting off to spend 2 weeks in a bikini and i can tell you now i have a helluva mission with regards to weightloss, i will not be going anywhere weighing more than 98lbs. I'm hoping for more, and i know it's do-able as i did it the first time round.

On another note, i just finished reading (for the third time) Ana Regzig's blog. I find her so inspirational, and i know people criticise her rewards that allow her to binge- but girls lets admit that there really is only a few amongst us who really actually dislike food. Admitting to enjoying it doesn't make you weaker, infact it shows how great your willpower is to actually be able to abstain from something you like. Stronger.

And really how can you criticise a girl who fasts almost everyday of the week and maybe eats 500 cals on  2 selected days.
I know i wish i had the freedom and strength to.

Finally, i'm definitely gonna start updating more regularly (i had my laptop replaced with a brilliant brand new one, only thing is i now have nada thinspo), so if you've read this far down you can expect alot more where this came from (: i hope to hear from some of you girls, i promise to get better with commenting you lot, but you can be sure i'm always reading!

Join me in the race to skinny

x