Perfection is attained: not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Thursday 25 March 2010

Not an awful day i suppose, around 800 hundred calorie-wise.
I haven't had time to exercise but i was on my feet running around for 4 hours at work tonight..which is something i suppose.
Tomorrow i'm fasting just simply because i haven't got much to do and i won't particularly need bundles of energy.
Lets see anyways, i'm getting back into the whole updating again (: keeps me focused






X

Wednesday 24 March 2010

P.S. i really need to thank everyone for the support you have given in comments, i don't show my gratitude enough to all you girls- and 99 follower, god! never thought anyone would be interested in the crap i have to say haha, thankyou though (:

I don't know if many of you know the show Supersize vs Superskinny, 'cause i'm personally obsessed with it..
Reverse and Thinspiration all in one, i love it.
You girls should check out the videos.. i reckon you'd be interested too

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/supersize-vs-superskinny/4od

And finally, now i'm getting back into updating i've just come across some lovely pictures of Mila Kunis for her recent shoot in GQ.
Know no-one will appreciate it as much as you lot...






 


Stay skinny, minis
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I haven't wanted to post, 'cause i haven't alot to say.
I hate the fact that everytime i write a new entry i have nothing new to add- just more depression, let downs. Boring. All boring, same-old fat.
I've still been reading everyone's blogs but i was just embarassed to say anything myself when everyone is atleast making some progress and i just stay here, the same. I simply remain.
I think i've put on weight but i have no official way of knowing for sure..the scales are gone.
I live in baggy joggers and a huge coat- yes i do look a ho-bo and i hate that too.
My mum just came up and we tried to sort out my wadrobe, i was suprised at how many nice clothes I have. All wastes of money, obviously. I ended up just sat on the floor unable to stop crying. Mainly because i cannot believe i have got to the stage where i'm scared of a pair of jeans, scared of everyone's reaction to my body. Embarassed to allow anyone to see. So I hide, and i waste my life, sitting inside in stupid joggies and an oversized, overworn coat.
It's ridiculous, i don't know how i got to this stage/state. This isn't me and it needs to stop.
I've been trying, trying hard to stop a binge; remember what it is i'm trying for.

I will do it, eventually, because i can't carry on hiding away, i'm not pathetic. I am strong, i need confidence and all i want is to be happy.
4 weeks to my birthday, and if i'm not 94lbs i don't want to be anything at all.